If you love Ochre Jelly…

April 11th, 2009

So far, this April’s been a bit of a downer.  Between the recent Wizards PDF kerfluffle, the passing of Dave Arneson, and the illness of Aaron Allston, it perhaps hasn’t been the best of times for an RPG Blog Carnival about humor.  But one of the purposes of humor is to take our minds from dark places, so, in the spirit of the carnival, I present this little bit of silliness.  Call it my tribute to the Dragon magazines of old.  In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s been done in one of those Dragons…

Grape Jelly Level 4 Elite Brute
Large Natural Beast (blind, ooze) XP 350
Initiative +4 Senses Perception +4; blindsight 10, tremorsense 10
HP 132; Bloodied 66
AC 18; Fortitude 16, Reflex 15, Will 15
Immune gaze; Resist 10 acid; Vulnerable 5 fire
Saving Throws +2
Speed 4; see also Smother
Action Points 1
M Slather (Standard; at-will)
+7 vs. AC; 1d10+4 damage, and the target is delicious. Enemies gain a +2 bonus to attack rolls against a delicious target, and will tend to prefer to attack that target when possible. Delicious ends when the target is immersed in water or other liquid, or upon the target’s next short rest.
m Smother (Standard; encounter)
+7 vs. AC; 3d10+4 damage, and the target is delicious. In addition, the target is grabbed. While the target remains grabbed, it takes ongoing 10 damage. The grape jelly may shift up to 6 squares before or after making this attack.
In A Jam (Immediate Reaction) ? Healing
(when first bloodied) The grape jelly’s smother power recharges, and it immediately uses it. If the attack hits, the grape jelly may spend a healing surge.
Alignment Unaligned Languages -
Str 14 (+4) Dex 12 (+3) Wis 12 (+3)
Con 16 (+5) Int 1 (-3) Cha 1 (-3)

Grape Jelly is the slightly larger and meaner relative of the Ochre Jelly.  Less acidic in nature than its relative, it is sometimes hunted by savage humanoids, who then eat its remains smeared upon singed bread or baked into pastries.  The hunt is by no means easy, however, and more than a few unwary hunters have found themselves the eaten instead of the… eaters.  Or something like that.  Those creatures who prefer meatier fare sometimes stalk in the jelly’s wake, waiting for it to Slather some foe and make it delicious.  Then the lurkers strike in a feeding frenzy.

A grape jelly is a creature entirely of instinct (and tastiness).  It will generally pick out the smallest or slowest creature in a group, and focus its attacks on that creature, opening with its Smother.  If seriously hurt by another creature, it will often lash back with its Slather ability.  The first time it is bloodied, it will use its In A Jam ability to heal itself, ooze toward the edge of the battle, and attempt to grab a bit of food (like a halfling) and carry it off as it flees battle.

(This is an automatic posting; I’m away from my computer at the moment.  There’s still time to enter to win an Open Game Table Anthology!)

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2 Comments

  1. Ameron, Apr. 13, 2009, 8:32 am:

    Grape Jelly, I love it! It’s funny and deadly. This is just the kind of thing that my players would never expect. And you know they won’t take it seriously which will lead to all kinds of fun. Perhaps after they’ve encountered the Grape Jelly I can create the deadly Dungeon Dressing to follow it up. Suddenly Thousand Islands is something to be feared.

    Ameron´s last blog post: Reputation (Part 3)

  2. Scott, Apr. 15, 2009, 1:06 am:

    I have a related post coming up later this week that you might enjoy. It’s about using humor in a game.

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